Every couple wants to have a long lasting relationship and dream about having a beautiful life with their partner which is both emotionally and physically fulfilling. But many couples fail to maintain the balance between their professional and personal life and everyday stress leads to fights and arguments and couples feel like getting separated. If your relationship is going through a rough patch then in this post you’ll learn about how to have long lasting relationship with your partner.
Let’s start with a question: What is ‘commitment’ to you and what does it mean in a relationship? Many of us often think of ‘obligations’ that they would prefer to be free from, such as being committed to going to a social gathering when they’d prefer to be at home watching a movie or just relaxing or my ‘commitment’ to being fiscally responsible despite my firm belief in retail therapy.
What about commitment in terms of a relationship? Commitment is a choice and not an obligation but the problem we live in a culture where commitment isn’t always valued. Many a times we are told that if something or someone does not bring you happiness, you should discard it or find someone else who makes you feel happy. The fact is that no one can always bring you happiness. You have to stay committed no matter what because all relationships have some issues at some point and if you really love your partner then go with the flow, issues will be resolved and your bonding will be ever more stronger.
Sometimes we buy into the notion that the grass is greener on the other side and we shouldn’t waste time being unhappy. If we buy into these messages, we can start to view commitment as something that we only do when we feel like it.
What is commitment in a relationship?
It’s true that it’s much easier to feel like being committed in the beginning of a relationship when things are fun, new, easy, and exciting but as time passes it becomes much harder to be committed to someone when the stress of everyday life sets in, or when the reality of being in the relationship is different from what you expected in the beginning. So what do you do when the new relationship bliss has long worn off and you’re left wondering if maybe you’re just not as ‘compatible’ with your partner as you once thought?
Commitment is a major key to long-lasting relationships. Because commitment is a choice and not a feeling. It’s a conscious decision to choose your partner even on the days when they’ve disappointed you, hurt your feelings, or when you feel that initial ‘spark’ has gone away. Commitment is the choice to love your partner despite their annoying habits, their flaws, and their mistakes.
Best Tips to build a long lasting relationship with your partner
You can strengthen the commitment in your relationship by practicing a few key skills:
Trust your Partner
Trust is the foundation that is needed for commitment because it allows you to feel physically and emotionally safe in your partnership. With trust often comes loyalty, friendship, and a mutual respect, and an acceptance of one another that allows for the ability to extend the “benefit of the doubt” to your partner when they disappoint you.
Practice Forgiveness
This can be difficult when you feel your needs or wants have gone unmet by your partner, which can easily lend itself to a feeling of resentment. While communicating with your partner about those unmet needs is necessary, choosing to let go of the resentment and the hurt feelings that linger after you have resolved the issue is a continuous process. Choosing commitment means choosing to let go of past hurts without holding your partner’s mistakes against them. Forgiveness is the key to building a long lasting relationship.
Be with Your Partner Emotionally to build a long lasting relationship
This means choosing to be emotionally available to your partner by choosing vulnerability and connection instead of pulling away. Part of turning towards your partner is choosing to be present in the small, everyday moments that you share with your partner. For example, say you and your partner just sat down for your usual Friday night Netflix binge (can you tell what I do in my spare time?) and you hear them let out a sigh. Turning towards your partner would be pausing and asking your partner if they’re ok. While such a moment may seem insignificant, taking advantage of the small opportunities for connection enhances your relationship. This also helps to build trust, which is essential to commitment and a long lasting relationship with your partner.
Be Prepared to learn and improve
Long lasting relationships do not just happen on their own. They are a roller coaster of ups and downs, good times and not so good times. There are days when the stress is nearly more than you can bear, and days when you cannot believe life is this amazing. The good days are easy. It is the tough days that will test the strength of your relationship. These are the days when you must be prepared for hard work. These are the days you must choose your relationship. These are the days you must decide that your commitment to your relationship is stronger that whatever bad stuff is trying to weigh you down. It is a choice to work hard. It is a choice to be happy. It is a choice to pick your relationship and do the work necessary to make it last.
Respect privacy and give your partner his/her space
Technological developments make it so easy for us to track each other and to be in constant communication. However, permitting each other to have privacy, as well as not pushing the other person to do things they’d prefer not to do, helps increase happiness in relationships, since it builds up mutual trust which leads to a long lasting relationship.
Compromise is the key to build a long lasting relationship with your partner
Today’s society emphasizes individuality, but for any relationship to work, we need to overcome the self-centered attitude and put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. This means we must understand their perspective, thoughts, and feelings and respect them.
However, be sure to balance your own needs with the other person’s needs. Seek a mutually beneficial compromise on any areas of disagreement. My spouse and I make compromises for each other all the time sometimes big and sometimes small and that’s how we keep our relationship strong.
Keeping the Spark Alive
Fairy tale romances are just that- fairy tales. As a relationship progresses, the initial spark tends to simmer into a comfortable place of normalcy. It is imperative to keep the spark alive. It may not always be possible to do this on a daily or even weekly basis depending on your lifestyle (children, work, other professional commitments, etc.). However, at least once a month, you and your partner should go out on a date to keep the spark alive and build a long lasting relationship.
In a healthy partnership, commitment is a necessary choice. Relationships naturally go through rough patches from time to time and staying committed to your partner can be difficult. However, committing to your partner in the rough times allows you to experience the fullness of your relationship and build a long lasting relationship.
Do you want to transform your life, fix broken relationship or achieve your life’s biggest goals? I am a certified life coach and marriage counselor helping individuals overcome challenges and mental hurdles to live a fulfilling life.
